Top Ten Types of Fans Everyone Hates

10) The fan who unintentionally helps the other team
The people we hate most are traitors, and it is true for sports too. Steve Bartman, the first name that comes to mind when you think of fans whose idiocy cost his team dearly. These fans exist in football too. They are the home team fans who won’t shut up when their team is driving for a come-back win with 2 minutes left in the fourth quarter. When you see a home team quarterback trying desperately to lower the crowd noise by flapping his arms in that situation, that tells you what an ignorant bunch of fans that team has.

9) The guy who gives standing ovations to every little feat, who happens to have the seat in front of you
We love enthusiasm at a game, but not from the 6’ 10” dude with a 7” foot wing span and a Ben Wallace fro sitting right in front of you. Everyone’s been to a game where the bastard in front of you won’t sit down for a majority of the game. Sometime it’s a solo act, and sometimes it’s a human wall of people who are scared of chairs and bleachers. Don’t get me wrong, there are times to jump and cheer, just not when a free throw is made in the first quarter. One exception is when you are at a college football game and you sit in the student section, which brings us to #8.

8) The fan who saves seats in the students section
There’s nothing wrong with saving seats for friends at a college sporting event, but it’s another story when you’re doing it for the whole sorority.

7) The fan who doesn’t throw back the visiting team’s homerun ball
I hate fans who sell out for a cheap $5 souvenir. By throwing back the ball, you prove to all those people what a true fan you are, and you get to show off your cannon of an arm.

6) The fan who leaves early to avoid traffic
I don’t care how big a blow out your team is enduring, you stay till the fat lady sings. Those fans that leave early do not deserve to be at the game in the first place. I was disappointed to say that was the case for Texas fans at the 2000 Red River Shootout. I’m proud to say on that day, even though our team was enduring a 63-14 route in sub freezing temperature, my friends and I stayed until the clock said triple zero. Despite our efforts, about 90% of the Texas fans already left while all the OU people were there taunting us in our diminishing numbers. What those 30,000 Longhorn fans did that day not only induces scorn from OU fans, but they gave a bad name for all Longhorn fans.

5) The fan who doesn’t remove his/her cap when the national anthem is being played
I can understand foreigners who don’t speak our language keeping their hat on while the anthem is being played, but any English speaking person has no excuse. Right before they play the national anthem, the broadcaster says “Please remove your caps during the national anthem.” If that is not a hint, I don’t know what is.

4) The fan who turns in the beach ball to authority figures
This doesn’t occur at every game, but at Dodgers games, there is always beach balls being batted around while the game is being played. The kids go crazy over it. I don’t know why the ushers would want to put an end to this activity, but I understand they are just doing their jobs. However, I can’t stand the people who actually grabs the balls and hand them over to the ushers! What kind of a non-rebel would do that? How can they live with themselves after seeing the smiling faces of little kids turn into scenes of devastation as the usher jacks the beach ball airless with his ball point pen?

3) The Chick who doesn’t put out when the Kiss Cam is on her and her man
If you have been to a baseball park with a jumbotron, chances are you know what I’m talking about when I say the Kiss Cam. Basically, in between innings, the DJ would play Faith Hill’s “This Kiss” while live images of couples would be posted on the jumbotron with a heart picture frame. It is then the obligation of those two people to make out in front of everyone. Usually, about 90% of the people, no matter how old, would participate and give the crowd arousal, but once in a while some stuck-up bitch would totally reject the man in front of everyone. If you are that man, I suggest you leave her behind and move on with your life.

Just out of curiosity, I wonder if the San Francisco Giants has the Kiss Cam. It could be quite difficult in identifying the couples there.

2) The fan who robs the baseball from a kid/The fan who takes the bat away from the lady who got hit in the face with it
It’s a classic image seeing some kid getting a ball at a baseball game. You can see the joy on their faces. That’s why we hate the fan who robs those kids. What’s sad is that often there’s a middle aged man who could be categorized as a sports-nerd upon first seeing the guy, running amongst a group of kids for lose balls to be sold on EBay. Using his height and weight to his advantage, our villain would shove eight-year-olds down two rows of bleachers, trip infants, and dive for the ball, crushing three to four grammar-school babies in the process.

On an equally low scale is the fan who takes away a souvenir from the guy who just got plunked. We often see guys making spectacular catches in the stands, but we also see a lot of guys going for the glory only to be met by embarrassment. I think as a reward for having a ball go off of your face or a bat cracking your cranium, at least you can keep the ball or bat as a souvenir, but no, while you were dazed by the impact, some jackass sneaks in there and robs you of your loot. Ok, maybe you do deserve it for trying to one-hand a baseball traveling at 90 mph with a beer in the other hand or trying to catch a baseball bat twirling at 200 rpm.


1) The fan who can’t hold his liquor…in public
There are plenty of drunk guys at a game, the quietly-drinking-himself-to-a-puddle-of-stoop, the loud-mouthed-die-hard-who-shouts-out-a-river-of-saliva-by-the-end-of-the-game, the pansy-who-buys-one-beer-for-the-souvenir-cup, the chest-bumping-while-holding-a-beer-moron… But the worst kind of fan you hate is the flask-sipping-public-vomiting-on-feet-of-stranger-asshole. God I hate myself…